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| Title: | Hope |
| Date: | 2009-09-06 @ 01:04 |
| Security: | public |
| Music: | Nightwish - Wishmaster |
| Mood: | blank  |
"Zeus did not want man to throw his life away, no matter how much the other evils might torment him, but rather to go on letting himself be tormented anew. To that end, he gives man hope. In truth, it is the most evil of evils because it prolongs man's torment." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Oh sure, turn off the lights for an hour and light 1000 candles. Way to go, fellow humans.
Guess what?! There's a new addition to my family!  My mum and my new baby cousin, at 2 weeks old. :) She's the daughter of my mum's remaining brother, my uncle on my mum's side. And, because this baby is cute, (Not all babies are as cute as her.), here's more pictures of her. (P.S. Did I mention the Hui in her name is the same as mine? She has the honor of being the first person to be named after me. XD) ( You can't handle the cute! )At this point, I got kinda worried that she might have a hearing problem, so I went to test her on Saturday. She seems okay. She jumped (no, not literally) when we went pass the school nearby and some inconsiderate asshole banged the gates. I'll probably have to test her more later on. Woot! I'm wondering if I should open a blog just for her. Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. - Corita Kent
 I was at my Grandma's today, lying with her on a mattress on a floor. Then, she told me that her will, consisting mainly of her 3 room HDB flat would be divided thus:
My second (and still alive) Uncle: 50%
Wife of my First uncle (the one who died), His elder son, His second son, My mum: Remaining 50%
Yes, you can see that I'm left out. My cousins each get one quarter of 50%. And I get nothing. I'm non-existant. I don't belong to this family.
Just because I have a different surname, just because my mum is a woman, just because I'm a female. Fuck fuck fuck. I would be happy with even one dollar. Really. Or even a "To her, I leave my blanket. Or my photo. Or whatever." Just acknowledge my existence, damn it.
You know, screw the fact that my cousins don't give a shit about my grandparents, and visit them on average once every two years. Screw the fact that that average is only achieved because my uncle died, and my aunt wants to secure a place in my grandparents inheritance. Screw the fact that they don't even call them grandma or grandpa. Screw the fact that I'm the one that loves them and rushes to the FUCKING EMERGENCY ROOM every time something happens. FUCK the fact that I buy them food to the hospital and visit them. FUCK ALL THAT. FUCK THE FACT that every time my handphone rings with my uncle calling i nearly get a heart attack. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
All I know is when they die, I'll be the only one crying at their funeral and I won't even have my existence acknowledged. The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness. ~Nancy Mitford
OBAMA WON!!! OBAMA WOn!!! OMG!
I woke up this morning and turned on CNA to watch as a few of the polling booths close. I remember one voter saying, "To me, it doesn't matter who win, because the Bush administration is over!" Unfortunately, I had to go to school. Damn it. So, after school I ran to the bus stop in order to catch the bus home. After a trip to 711 with my friend Alicia, I finally made it home..
To watch John McCain giving his speech conceding victory. WHAHAHHAH. I was so happy XD So, after a rather long wait for the new president elect (during which time I showered), he finally gave the speech which I'm sure will become as famous as Martin Luther's "I have a dream..."
HURRAH! :D I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. - Martin Luther King, August 28, 1963, Washington DC
How do you tell your grandmother, who's Christian, that her son is probably going to hell? This is, of course, rhetorical. I will never ever do that. This may be why I didn't associate my dream with him. But I won't be stepping into a church anytime soon until I get a satisfactory answer. Unless I'm in desperate need of shelter and it's the only place left standing. For example, if Sg gets bombed by some other country, or someone drops a biological weapon. You get the point. (Yes, yes, always cover your ass in case of emergency.) People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad.
-Marcel Proust
| Title: | :( |
| Date: | 2008-08-16 @ 19:23 |
| Security: | public |
| Music: | Annie Lenox - Into the West |
| Mood: | sad  |
I'm alone at home now, my first break since my uncle died. I've been attending his wake for the past two days. It's emotionally draining, and physically draining. Emotionally because I can't think about him or feel sad there, because there are others closer to him, who keep breaking down. Especially my grandmother. I really really hate them for making a five day wake everytime I see her cry and shout at the sky, telling my uncle that she's there, and why did he not want his mother anymore? Physically, because I'm the defunct waiter and odd jobs person, which is fine,because it doesn't give me time to think. I feel bad that I'm not there, but I want to cry, I feel so suffocated when I'm there, because I can't cry. I used to think how it was confusing to say "Jiu Jiu" when my two uncles were around. It was quite amusing too cos they would both respond. Or when I talked with my family and say "Jiu Jiu" they would have to figure out which one I was talking about. Now, I'll never have that chance again. I didn't know I would miss him so much, or he was so much a part of my life. It's like coming home and realising someone's stolen your favourite chair, or broken your favourite cup. It's always been there that you don't really realise it's value til it's gone. You don't realise you've depended on him to be a constant in your life til he's gone. You don't realise that the pillar in your home would leave such a big gaping hole when it crumbles. Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path . . . one that we must all take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... ...And then you see it.
Pippin: What, Gandalf? See what?
Gandalf: White shores . . . and beyond. A far green country, under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: Well, that isn't so bad.
Gandalf: No... No it isn't.
-Lord of the Rings
| Title: | My Uncle |
| Date: | 2008-08-15 @ 09:45 |
| Security: | public |
| Music: | Sarah McLachlan - In the Arms of an Angel |
| Mood: | sad |
Death is but a gateway to another world, one where the invisible becomes visible, and the visible, physical and material fall away into unimportance.
R.I.P
Lau Kheng Kee
8/12/1959 - 14/8/2008
My uncle is survived by his father and mother, a wife and two sons, and his elder sister (my mum) and younger brother. He was born on December 8 1959 and died on August 14 2008 of hypertensive heart disease. It happened in his home, where his wife and two sons were.
I'd like to think he died suddenly and peacefully.
Dear jiu jiu, if you were alive now, the only thing I would want to do is to give you a hug, and probably have a big family dinner together like old times. I hope you're happily running about somewhere now, or maybe driving in the lorry you used to own. I'll try to get closer to your sons again. We all really miss you.
"Every blade in the field,
Every leaf in the forest,
Lays down its life in its season,
As beautifully as it was taken up." - Henry David Thoreau
| Title: | Funny! |
| Date: | 2008-07-13 @ 14:29 |
| Security: | public |
| Mood: | laughing  |
They kidnapped Christ!
Dying. of. laughter.
There is no wisdom without love. - N. Sri Ram
I went to the toilet bowl and saw blood at the bottom of it, along with a cigarette floating on top. Naturally, I knew it was my grandfather. So I told my mum, grandma about it. They were wondering if it was blood cos they can't see well, so I sprayed some water, and look! It SWIRLS around like blood.
I WENT TO WATCH RED CLIFF TODAY!!! HOLY SHIT IT IS MADE OF WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME SWORD!!!! AWESOME DIRECTINg!!!! Kaneishiro WAS AWESOME as ZHUGE LIANG!!!!!! But Ken Watanabe was not so convincing. =/ ANd SHIT THE VISUALS ARE GOOD!!!! THE BA GUA FORMATION!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! ANd thE BLOOOD SPLATTERING EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JOHN WOO IS AN AWESOME AWESOME DIRECTOR! One part I didn't get was the still shots while they were playing the guzheng though. That was the only out of character thing. AND SERIOUSLY HE IS AN AWESOME DIRECTOR, including the humourous bits and THE SCRIPTWRITERS WERE AWESOME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT! However, love scenes felt forced. I really didn't like it. You could sense the two of em were uncomfortable. BUT DAMN IT ENDED BEFORE THE BOAT BURNING. I was waiting for it, but nooooo, next movie. I am so getting the DVD.
SERIOUSLY THE COSTUMES WERE SO nICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the detailing! And the sets too. I'm hoping theres some magic involved in the next one? because besides history, art, psychology specialist researchers involved, they also had one titled "witchcraft" in the endings. but this is based on reality so maybe not. soundtrack was good too!!!!!! damn....... i want to rewatch it again.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? - Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
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